It was a beautiful evening out in the city, out and about, attending an event after-party with a few friends. We started mingling and eventually settled down with a few guests that were in town for the weekend. There was a (clearly inebriated) man who insisted on lifting me up every time he walked past me. Eventually, I got annoyed with this kind of behaviour and I asked one of his friends to step in. Immediately, one of his friends stepped in and, I kid you not, the (inebriated) fella looked at his friend and his eyes start to slowly shut in slow motion. Next thing he started sinking deeper into the couch, and voila! he was out like a light.
The ‘reprimander’ assured me of a quiet evening forth and handed me his business card “in case of trouble”.
A few hours later, my friends and I headed home. As a courtesy (and maybe a slight bit of curiosity) I texted him to say we’re home safe. And there began the series of #NeverReady moments.

*beep* An incoming message from the ‘reprimander’. “Please don’t let me down. I really like you”. I looked around as if someone else would see this message (which is bizarre, because I was alone). *beep* my phone goes off again “I really like you”. I texted back “please don’t do this, see you soon”. I then went to bed. little slightly confused.
Next morning, he phoned me and we made plans to meet. Before I knew it, the big day came. And there he was, standing in front of me – wearing the world’s tightest suit. No no no no, not like ‘custom made’ kind of tight; I am talking “I literally forced my way in and got locked inside” kind of tight, the type of tightness where each movement needs to be insured as a separate risk. The whole suit was a 3-piece ensemble (my memory may have blocked out other aspects). He walks behind me as we enter the restaurant (no prizes for guessing why). We sat down to eat.
He spent the next 45minutes telling me about himself and I was just sitting there stuffing my face in a Blue Cheese and Bacon burger. “Oh would you look at the time, I need to head back to my office, sorry!”. There was a slight disappointed look in his face when i uttered those words but I think that’s because I had cut his Show and Tell  session short :(. He summons the waiter to get the bill, and he offers to pay. I oblige 🙂  and we said our goodbyes.
About 30minutes later, he sends a text to say he arrived safely at his next destination. Then came another #NeverReady moment. *beep* “Lunch is on you next time?”, he texts. “Not in a million years”, I text back jokingly. Soon afterwards, my poor phone was bombarded with messages from this man, basically saying he never wants to see me again because if I say no to buying lunch it means I will not be able to compromise in a relationship, let alone a marriage. WAIT A WHOLE MINUTE! Marriage? Relationship? Did I miss something?
Before I could even get a word in, he had blocked me on both his numbers. So much of confusion on my part.

Never to be seen or heard from again. One of my good friends recently said something to me and I think she is onto something…the dating game is a warfare indeed.

Posted by:elelifestyleblog

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